Get the fuck out of here...

Who is Gloria Jean, exactly? I picture her as a huge, hugely successful woman, the ageing head of a global coffee empire who sits around in her Beverly Hills mansion, eating crackers, while ogling the pool guy. Her coffee shop is a recent addition to the city - there are branches in Hősök tere, Mammut and on the körút, near Nyugati.

Forget my first question. A more pertinent one would be, who exactly does Gloria Jean think she is? I was walking past the Hősök tere branch the other day when I was forced to do a double take.

Guess how much a kicsi cappuccino costs. Go on, guess. Wrong. Try again. No, still wrong. One more chance. Okay, you’re rubbish at this, I'll tell you. A small cappuccino at Gloria Jean’s would set you back 615 ft. Six hundred and fifteen ft. What is this - Dubai? Why, for that much, I could buy a, a, a… dinosaur! Even the California Coffee Company opts for a less ballsy 490 ft.

615 ft is a ridiculous price, made even more ridiculous by the fact that the minimum wage here is 69,000 ft per month. If that’s net, which it isn’t, the average minimum wage employee working 22 days a month would earn 3136 ft per day. Now then, let’s say that on their way to their job, said worker stops in for a morning coffee every day at Gloria Jean’s. In a single month they’d spend 13,530 ft on coffee. Which leaves them just 55,470 ft to pay for such luxuries as food, a travel pass and rent.

But of course, it isn’t aimed at the average Hungarian, it’s aimed at the decidedly average tourist. As a Hungarian friend of mine pointed out (after having been duped into paying an arm and a leg for a coffee and a sandwich in Gloria's), at the very least it solves the problem of tourists not being able to get a hot drink in Hősök tere. No, it’s much better now - they can visit one of Hungary’s most striking monuments and wonder at the fact that a cappuccino costs more than double what you would pay in a New York Starbucks. Truly amazing. Glory be!

Andy T.


  1. Anonymous said...

    I have to agree. It really is ridiculous!!! :((  


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